that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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