I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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