So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize