Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize