Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize