who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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