Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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