Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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