I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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