He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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