It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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