is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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