I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize