So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
COCAINE IS GR8
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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