I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize