and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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