she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize