By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize