Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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