When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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