Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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