well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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