this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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