i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize