Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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