you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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