I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
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i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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