Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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