can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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