It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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