shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize