I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
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did i walk over a car last night?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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