so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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