I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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