Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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