Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
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Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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