Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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