I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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