You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
babies were throwing up all over the place
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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