got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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