remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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