Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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