dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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