Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
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im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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