If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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