i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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