my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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