if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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