My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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