Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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