tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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