some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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