I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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